In the doldrums

I'm at a weird point in skating.  I'm not sure where I am going with it.  I have kind of met my ultimate goal from the beginning, to get my bronze test.  Originally I thought I'd be able to continue through with moves for a long time.  The harsh reality that 1)skating is really hard and my hip injury have kind of put an end to that.  So now i'm just skating.  There is so much to work on, but I lack motivation.

Having skipped LTS last weekend, I went into Tuesday not having practiced for almost a week.  Tuesday was pretty awful.  My feet were just not underneath me.  My level of skating is not maintainable without consistent practice.  Wednesday I felt a lot better, and got to the rink a bit early to warm up before my lesson.  My spins were good, and a high level skater told me she thought my sit spin variations were looking good- lower than my normal sit spin (and visibly so, since I switch from it).  My back sit is feeling better too, but not from a change foot.  Mostly, I was really happy with these spins though.  I bet if I videoed them, that feeling would change... isn't that always the case?

My lesson with Carson went well.  30 minutes is enough that I am exhausted.  We worked a lot on spins, and on making my salchow quiet.  Apparently it is all in the shoulder rotation, to keep the edge before I step into the entry from scratching.  Which of course screws up all my timing I've worked on.  My salchow goes back and forth between being my best jump and being incredibly uncomfortable. 

My camel isn't making any progress.  I'm annoyed with that.

We worked on dances.  I need to remember the Canasta Tango, the steps haven't cemented into my memory and I have lost them from the last time.  I just have no interest in doing the Rhythm Blues.  But Carson thinks I should work on it again.  That stupid dance knocked me out of this sport for over half a year.  I had to go back to ballet (which I actually miss, but there is no great class situation in Iowa City for me.)

Right now I kind of feel lost in what I'm doing.  If I don't have another goal in skating- am I just throwing money away?
We still haven't gotten the email on "next steps" for joining the rowing club, so even that is in a stage of waffling.

Oh, and my current (school) class stinks.  It is so unfocused and leaves me feeling like I'm guessing at what the instructor wants.  And it is set up so we get practically no feedback on whether we are meeting the standard.  A lousy example in teaching education (and I've been pretty happy with this program.)  Oh well, only 7 more weeks of it- at least the classes are short.  And then one more class and I'm done!