Goals: aka what comes next

After going over my test results Carson said he would like for our next lesson to be a meeting.  He wants to set goals and go over what we will do in the future.  While I think most coaches do this, I think he is also a bit at a loss of what to do with me.  Usually when you pass a test you work on the next one.  People who are done testing are either a) graduating high school or b) internationally competitive.  I'm done testing and not quite at the preliminary level! 

So here is what I am going to email him to talk about.

SpinsI would like to be an amazing spinner.   It is really the only part of skating I really care to be great at.  I know I have a long way to go, but here are my thoughts on what I want to work on:
-Camel Spin
-Sit spin variations.  (As well as continuing to work on my regular sit spin)
-Combo spins/change feet spins (really determining what two fantastic spins are for use in a program)
-Attitude spin (I don't think I'm ever going to get a layback, but who knows.)
-Eventually flying spins (Courtney had me working on a flying sit spin.  It was a pretty poor attempt, but unlike anything else, I'd actually jump on the entry.)
-Getting really strong scratch spins

Jumps
-Although I will continue to practice it when I run through all my jumps, I'd rather not focus on loop.  In fact, I'd be content in skating even if I never do another one.  I know you aren't going to let me do that though.
-Flip.  But like loop, I'm kind of 'eh' about this.
-I would like to focus on making my waltz jump, toe loop, and salchow into "real" jumps.  Ones that visibly leave the ice and cover distance.
-Jump combos/sequences

Footwork
-Now that I don't have to drill loop for 20 minutes every lesson I would really like to spend some time working on footwork.  My CCW turns are abyssmal for my level.  I also haven't done a bracket, counter, or rocker in the year and a half I've been back skating since I hurt my hip.
-Although I don't want to focus on the test right now, I wouldn't mind working on some of the Silver MITF, if they ever change the spirals, then I'd like to work on the test.

Dance
-As much as my test anxiety would make you think otherwise, I actually do like testing- it gives me something to work on.  I got fairly good at the Canasta Tango and Dutch Waltz with Courtney, but the step behinds in the Rhythm Blues tried to kill me, so I never thought about testing dance.  Although I don't remember the Canasta steps anymore, so I'd have to start from scratch- this could be a good way to get me to work on my edges, and give me a more solid goal.

Competition/Exhibition program
-I would like to compete at Adult Nationals, and while I have no expectations of placing well, I'd like a program designed for me to maximize the allowed elements and do the best program I can.  I think that is pretty in line with the goals above (more advanced spins, jump combos/sequences, stronger footwork).  Due to cost, I probably won't compete much locally, but I'd like to have a 'go to' program for when HSC has an exhibition.  Since I can't do the advanced things now, I can keep Geisha as a shell (and change the jumps out for ones that fit the Bronze rules) and do a new program when I can actually do the things I need to be able to do, or we can start over now.

How the test went and how I really feel.

I hope this post doesn't make me sound like a brat.  My Mom told me "don't look a gift horse in the mouth"- but, well, passing isn't the happy thing I thought it would be.

Okay- the test session.   I get out on the ice and it is typical Quad Cities ice: super fast, super slick.  There is something magical about it for spins, it is like it grabs your blades and holds you in one spot. Centering there is so easy, and spins are fast.  But jumps- yeah, I've never jumped well there.

For the warm up, Carson keeps telling me to get down in my knees.  All my elements go well*, and my spins are great.  (*I missed one waltz-toe, getting stuck down in the toe pick position but did two other good ones.  My loops were not horrible, but my loops.)

Although my nerves have definetly got the best of me all week, I feel like I can do this.

I go out to do the program.  All the skaters have gone to the judges first (especially since they messed up one of the skaters paperwork, they had the wrong forms), so even though we've never planned to do this- I skate over to them.  Before I get there they say "we're ready for you"- urgh.  Should have just gone to the opening position.

My music starts, I smile, I'm happy.  My loop is okay.  I land on the toe pick and have some of an exit edge.  Still smiling.  I got to the waltz-toe, and what the hell?  Did I just toe-waltz?  I never do that anymore.  At least I jumped.  Mistake 1.   I enter my sit spin.  Way too over on the inside edge.  It isn't as low as I can get it, and it is slow for me.  Mistake 2.  I do my salchow, I have no memory of it so I bet it was fine.  I remember my toe picks dragged loudly but think to myself that I had great edge rip on the crossovers into it, and those go straight past the judges.  Hopefully the two noises even each other out.  I hold my exit edge and then go into my backspin.  My foot doesn't cross, but the backspin is good.  They have gotten really consistent.  I'm not able to kick out but swizzle out like I did last time.  Then I think to myself "oh crap, I am way behind the music".  I start my footwork and do only one waltz 3 pattern, not two.  I do my backwards crossovers and set up for my toe loop.  I jump, and still smiling "what the hell was that?"  Thank goodness I don't cuss, or mouth anything, as I often do that in practice.  My toe loop has become my steady element and I just blew it.  I didn't waltz-toe, but I didn't really do anything.  The pivot was there, but I think my foot landed on the ice before I took off.  This was not MY toe loop.  My toe loops have never looked like that.  I'm baffled, and now I hit Mistake 3.  I do my crossovers, realize I am now ahead of the music so I don't rush into the scratch spin.  I do a nice scratch spin (not looking down at the tracing, so I don't know but a judge said it was centered) and I tack a pivot on to the end of the program.   I don't bow to the judges.  I'm not sure I'm supposed to.  But no matter what, I know I just blew it.

I skated to Carson.  He is not happy.  We wait for a reskate announcement.  Maybe the sit spin still counted?  For sure I have to do the toe loop, and we always knew I'd have to do the loop.  No judge calls me over.  That's it.  I really did blow it.  Okay.  That's fine.  At least this time I can only blame me.  Last time I thought I did great, and failed.  This time, I thought I did terribly.  So the retry will be no surprise.

While waiting for the papers I eat a cookie.  Burton asked me if I wanted one before the test, but I turned it down thinking I'd be sick.  I told him we were going out for celebration sushi (ended up being Indian) but I'd take one if I needed a consolation cookie.  I felt miserable.  It is one thing to get a retry when you skate well but your best isn't good enough- but to do that?  I was disappointed in myself.  I didn't even get a reskate.

Then Sue brings us the papers.  Retry, but not marked down on artistic.  I thought that was right- I was mad last time when one judge gave me low presentation marks.  Next one- Pass.  Really?  and then I go to the next paper- Pass.  What?  What program were these judges watching?  I think I actually gasped.

Carson tells me "you got lucky".  We go over the papers and the comments are right- my sit spin wasn't low, my toe loop sucked, my loop was underrotated.  He is surprised by the nice ice coverage comments. We aren't sure what made the judges write 2.5 and pass me.  I think this is the most disappointed in me Carson has ever expressed being.  More than when I got a retry on the same test. 

I talked to Burton- he tells me my standard is higher than the test standard, and that might be true.  I think of the other ladies who have passed the test, and what their tests look like.  Honestly, they look like what my test looked like.  The standard is pretty low.  So now I'm just mad at the first set of judges.  Why did I get a retry last time?  I skated so much better then.   The judges were pretty hard all day.  Our club didn't have a good test session overall- but I was the only adult, so maybe the are just easy on the adults.  Was it a pity pass?

On the way home, I'm upset.  I just passed a test that has been my goal for almost 5 years, and I'm about to cry.  I am angry at the judges for passing me.  They passed me on a test I can't be proud of.  This is when my Mom tells me I'm being ridiculous.  I asked Kevin if he understands what I'm talking about, and he says no.   I wonder if that speed skater who won a gold because he was in last and everyone else fell might have had some of these feelings.  To get what you wanted without being good enough for it?  (Though part of speed skating is not getting caught in the pile ups...)

So today, I've given it more thought.  I think I had 3 mistakes.  But my loop wasn't that bad- I landed on the toepick, I had some glide on the exit (sometimes I land at a standstill).  Lots of people have passed this with loops like that.  My sit spin was definetly an "adult" sit spin, and it was slow- but it was slow because I spin well.  My toe loops- well I toe waltzed one, but I've been told repeatedly that that is fine for bronze skaters, and I barely left the ice on the other- but it was recognizable as a toe loop.  So I feel like all my mistakes were major for me, but maybe minor for the test.  Maybe I did really meet the standard.  Maybe it wasn't a pity pass.

But why the heck did I get a retry last time?

I passed!

On September 27, 2008, I passed my bronze moves in the field test.  Since then, I have struggled with my loop, struggled with my backspin, and struggled with injury.  I have been put off the ice (twice) by knee problems, once by hip problems (that almost had me quitting skating it was so bad!), once with a shoulder injury, and most recently with a badly sprained wrist. 

But finally, 1,350 days later- I passed Bronze Freeskate!  I unfortunately did not pass it with a program that makes me proud (another coach told me: your standard is higher than the test standard...  That was nicer than saying "the judges are easy"- as they hadn't been easy for most of the session) but a pass is a pass.

Here are my comments:

Judge 1: Retry
Technical: 2.3  toe loop is not a toe loop, it was a toe hop  (I'm embarassed to admit this is true.  The single toe was the worst one I've done in six months, even though I got the pivot.  I toe waltzed in my combo.) next to the element it says "cheated".  Sit Spin not low enough.  This judge made no note of my third single jump, not even a check mark in that space...
Presentation: 2.5  presentation nice 

Judge 2: Pass
Technical 2.5:  All requirments met.  Nice centered scratch spin.  Sit needs to be lower.  There is a note next to loop that it was underrotated.
Presentation: Good ice coverage, nice smile

Judge 3: Pass
Tchnical: 2.5 Completed all elements, jumps could use more height. (understatement of the year...)
Presentation: 2.5  Covered ice surface, a bit cautious  This judge counted 4 sit spin revs, 5 back spin, and 6 scratch spin.


My coach was surprised by the ice coverage comments, because it was an Olympic rink, and I din't come close to covering it, but I'm guessing that means I had good coverage "for a bronze lady"  I still can't believe how bad my toe loop was, and my sit wasn't fantastic- though I did a great one in warm up.  My loop was decent for my loops. .  I had no reskate, so I left the ice pretty certain I had not passed, since that was 3 poor elements.

Because the test was during work, Kevin wasn't able to come.  I have no video of it :(